On The Path to Ihsan, The Battle is Conquering the Self
In life, we face countless battles—external challenges, adversaries, and societal pressures. We need to get married by this age…we need this job, this salary, that house in that area...We need to have this many children. The battles for women are never ending. Yet, the Qur’an tells us that true success is admission into Paradise and Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) reminds us that the battle to Paradise lies within ourselves. He stated:
"The Mujahid is the one who strives against his own soul in obedience to Allah." (Ibn Majah)
This profound statement underscores the importance of self-discipline and overcoming the whispers of the nafs (the ego or base self), which often leads us astray.
What Is the Nafs?
In Islamic teachings, the nafs is the part of our soul that inclines toward desires and temptations. It wants to fulfil all it’s wants and desires; it is present in all of us to varying degrees. The Quran acknowledges the nafs' potential for both good and evil:
"And I do not acquit myself. Indeed, the soul is a persistent enjoiner of evil, except those upon whom my Lord has mercy."
(Surah Yusuf 12:53)
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Islam categorizes the nafs into three states:
Nafs al-Ammarah (The soul commanding to evil) - dominated and left to indulge in unfulfilling base desires.
Nafs al-Lawwama (The self-reproaching soul) - aware of right and wrong and continuously struggles between them; Always encouraging the soul towards virtue and guidance.
Nafs al-Mutmainnah (The tranquil soul) – A soul at peace, aligned with Allah's guidance.
Our ultimate goal is to ascend from Nafs al-Ammarah to Nafs al-Mutmainnah, a state praised by Allah:
"O tranquil soul, return to your Lord, well-pleased and pleasing to Him."
(Surah Al-Fajr 89:27-28)
But how do we undertake this internal battle to refine ourselves?
The Quranic Path to Self-Discipline
The Quran provides us with guidance to overcome our inner struggles. One key concept is taqwa (vigilance of Allah). Developing taqwa involves constant self-awareness and the ability to resist impulses that lead us away from Allah.
Allah says:
"Indeed, those who are vigilant of Allah—when an impulse touches them from Satan, they remember [Him] and at once they have insight."
(Surah Al-A’raf 7:201)
This verse highlights mindfulness as a tool to combat negative inclinations. Constant vigilance of our creator, remembering Allah (dhikr) and seeking refuge and safety in Him strengthens our resolve to resist temptations. We can not fight the battle on our own, we are all dependent on Allah’s might and guidance to be saved from our own egos.
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Prophetic Guidance on the Inner Struggle
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) exemplified self-discipline throughout his life, especially in moments of trial. He fasted regularly, prayed during the night (Tahajjud), and refrained from anger, even in challenging situations.
He advised his followers:
"The strong man is not the one who can overpower others in wrestling; rather, the strong man is the one who controls himself when he is angry."
(Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
This Hadith illustrates strength is qualified by taking control of our ego and also connects strength with self-control. It emphasizes that true power lies in conquering one's inner weaknesses; it is inwardly directed not outwardly focused.
Western Psychology on Self-Discipline
Modern psychology aligns with Islamic teachings on the importance of self-discipline. Research shows that self-control is a key predictor of success and well-being. Psychologist Walter Mischel’s famous “Marshmallow Test” demonstrated that children who delayed gratification performed better academically and had stronger interpersonal relationships later in life.
The test in the 1960s and 1970s, was designed to study self-control and delayed gratification in children. In the experiment, a child was given a marshmallow and told they could either eat it immediately or wait for the researcher to return and receive a second one as a reward for waiting. Follow-up studies found that children who delayed gratification tended to achieve better life outcomes, such as higher academic performance and better emotional regulation.
Similarly, renowned psychologist Angela Duckworth coined the term "grit" to describe the combination of passion and perseverance required to achieve long-term goals. Her studies revealed that self-discipline often outweighs raw talent in predicting success.
These insights reinforce the Quranic and Prophetic call for self-restraint and perseverance in the face of challenges and on the path to success.
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Practical Steps to Win the Battle Within
Achieving mastery over the nafs requires consistent effort. Here are actionable steps rooted in both Islamic and psychological principles:
1. Start with Sincerity
Allah loves sincerity in action. Purify your intentions by seeking Allah's pleasure in everything you do.
"And they were not commanded except to worship Allah, being sincere to Him in religion."
(Surah Al-Bayyinah 98:5)
When your actions are grounded in sincerity, self-discipline becomes a form of worship, making the struggle rewarding and worthwhile.
2. Fasting: A Shield Against Desires
Fasting is a powerful tool to strengthen self-control. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"Fasting is a shield."
(Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
By restraining from food, drink, and other desires during fasting, we train our nafs to submit to higher principles. During fasting, we are actively teaching our nafs to submit to the will of the mind not the will of bodily desires.
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3. Daily Dhikr
Remembrance of Allah helps us stay focused on our ultimate purpose. Simple acts like saying:
Astaghfirullah (I seek forgiveness from Allah)
SubhanAllah (Glory be to Allah)
La ilaha illallah (There is no deity but Allah)
These strengthen the heart and mind against negative influences.
4. Accountability Through Salah
The five daily prayers provide structure and a moment to pause, reflect, and realign. Salah acts as a reminder that life’s purpose transcends worldly desires.
"Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allah is greater."
(Surah Al-Ankabut 29:45)
5. Seek Knowledge and Support
Studying the Quran and Hadith, as well as the lives of the Prophets (Peace be upon them all) deepens our understanding of self-discipline. Additionally, seeking guidance from trusted mentors or peers fosters accountability.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said:
"A believer is a mirror to a believer."
(Sunan Abu Dawood)
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The Rewards of Self-Discipline
The struggle against the nafs is not without reward. Allah promises immense blessings for those who succeed:
"But as for he who feared the standing before his Lord and restrained the soul from [its] desire, then indeed, Paradise will be his refuge."
(Surah An-Nazi’at 79:40-41)
Imagine the peace and contentment that comes with knowing you have fulfilled your purpose and overcome the challenges that once seemed insurmountable. May Allah bless us all with the determination and victory.
A Final Reminder
Winning the battle against the self is a journey, not a destination. There will be days of triumph and days of setback. The key is persistence and reliance on Allah. Remember, even the smallest step toward self-improvement is beloved by Allah:
"The most beloved deeds to Allah are those that are consistent, even if they are small."
(Sahih Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
By combining faith, discipline, and actionable steps, you can achieve not only worldly success but also the eternal reward of Allah’s pleasure. Let this battle be the greatest victory of your life—against the self, for the self.