Healing Through Grief: Finding Comfort and Strength in Islam
Inna lilahi wa inna illahi raji'un—To Allah we belong, and to Him is our return. These words offer a profound reminder of our place in the universe and the temporary nature of our worldly existence. Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the hardest trials we face in this life. Yet, Allah (SWT) has created us to worship Him and live in communities where we support one another. Talking about our feelings of sadness and loss is an essential step toward healing.
The Islamic Perspective on Grief and Loss
Grief is the natural response to losing someone we love, and in Islam, we understand that our loved ones are only on loan to us for a stipulated time. We must learn to let go with love and gratitude, knowing that every soul shall taste death, as Allah (SWT) says, "Every soul shall taste death, and our life on this earth is a test."
Grief is the feeling of not being able to share the love that fills your heart because the person you love is no longer there. It’s love that has nowhere to go, but SubhanAllah, we can still honor that love by remembering and writing down the beautiful moments we shared with our loved ones.
Moving Forward with Faith and Strength
In moments of loss, it’s essential to continue expressing love to those around us who are still living. We move forward, not on, with our loved ones in our hearts. We move forward with love and kindness, with du’as and dhikr. Everyone grieves differently, experiencing emotions like denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. We might find ourselves turning to various crutches like binge sleeping, eating, or isolating ourselves.
Instead, Islam teaches us to turn our focus toward Allah (SWT), concentrating on our salah and dhikr. Engage in charity work or even small acts of kindness, as these not only uplift our spirits but also benefit our loved ones in the hereafter. Remember, grief comes in waves, just like the highs and lows of life. It’s okay to feel, to grieve, and to heal in your own time.
Practical Steps to Navigate Grief
Resign to Allah's Will: Trust in Allah's wisdom and His plan. Our time of death is written while we are in our mother’s womb.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Name your emotions—anger, sadness, loneliness, or fear—just as Prophet Nuh (AS) did. Naming your feelings helps to tame them.
Make Du’a for Your Loved Ones: A simple “May Allah grant them Jannah” or “May Allah have mercy on their soul” is a powerful act of love.
Practice Acts of Kindness: Daily acts of kindness, whether a kind word or a smile, can help in your healing journey.
Continue Their Legacy: Keep alive the good deeds your loved one practiced, whether it was reading Quran, fasting, or helping others.
Talk About Your Loved One: Don’t suppress your tears or memories. Tears reduce stress, and sharing stories keeps their memory alive.
Avoid Survivor's Guilt: Reflect on what your loved one would want for you—likely for you to live a full, Allah-conscious life.
Adopt a New Act of Worship: Incorporate a good deed your loved one practiced into your daily routine.
Stay Connected: Keep in touch with their family and friends, as every kind word and action benefits both you and your loved one.
Engage in Deep Breathing and Dhikr: Practices like box breathing combined with dhikr can help bring peace to your heart.
Exercise and Sunlight: A morning walk in the sunshine can boost serotonin levels, helping you feel better.
Gratitude for Nourishment: Eat clean, halal nutrition, and be thankful for the sustenance Allah (SWT) provides.
Prioritize Good Sleep: Start your day with Fajr, setting a positive tone for the rest of the day.
Envision Their Jannah: Imagine the paradise awaiting them—palaces under the Throne of Allah (SWT), rivers of honey and milk, and gardens of eternal bliss.
Seeking Comfort in Allah’s Promises
Remember Allah’s promise: “Verily, with every hardship, there is relief.” This powerful verse is repeated twice in Surah Inshirah, emphasizing that ease accompanies difficulty, not just follows it. Be mindful of those moments of ease and say Alhamdulilah for the relief.
Let us keep our loved ones alive in our hearts through good deeds, continuous charity, and prayer. May Allah (SWT) elevate their status in Jannah, forgive them, and unite us with them in the hereafter. Ameen.